Once you've got the "Killerloop" nads style trickery, you possibly qualify to attempt the big kahuna of kiteboarding tricks...the divider, the paradigm shift, the antithesis of all that is safe, sound and easy about kiteboarding. Barpass, Airpass or Handlepass...whatever you want to call it, it's the shiznik move of zero four. Unless you're a pliable little grom with a very positive ape factor, it won't come overnight - and for the lions share of riders it won't come at all. But here are a few vague pointers to get you grappling your way to glory.

The second thing you should think hard about is a tree...a good sturdy tree can be very beneficial. Mine's a lush and youthful walnut tree, but any type is fine so long as you can string a bar up high...it's just that I can eat the nuts too which helps with the first thing you should mull over, preferably from an early age, which is to build yourself a grunty set of arms and optimally disengage from any leg building sports. Now, every second day or so as you wander past that tree, you wanna leap up and grasp the bar, knuckles white and fire out several sets of good old fashioned pull-ups. After a while you'd hope to be able to do a pull up and pull the bar right to your hip...if you can't do that try stringing up a hammock instead and consider taking up crotchet.

While this period of re-discovering your 'anthropoidial' tendencies is going on, you can get to grips with some surface slidey stuff. Firstly I'll say here that these days always use a kite leash. It'll save you a lot of chasing your kite up the beach, across the road and over the shops when you let go, letting you progress faster...and mainly prevent your runaway bar from sconing someone's nut on the beach.

Out on the wet stuff, ideally on that perfect warm, smooth day, there are two ways of doing a "surface three." The easiest is to unhook, then switch to toeside and reach behind your back to grab the bar with your back hand and slide out of that position to heelside again as you let go with your front hand. This is a frontside three. The trick is to crouch and bend low at the waist so the kite pull is effectively downward and not yanking your shoulder up out of joint.

Slightly harder is to unhook and olley or butterslide to blind then bend and pass the bar, at which point blind becomes toeside, switch to heelside and you're there. These tricks help develop the motor co-ordination skill of passing the bar hand to hand while you're hurtling along thinking of other things like weighting the correct edge and shifting weight balance back to what was a millisecond ago, the nose of your board. Get any of this wrong and you're up for a good slapping. Also these tricks look very styley tacked onto the end of jumps such as an "Indy tantrum to blind."

When judgement day arrives, you must clear your mind of ill thought and dress for the occasion. Probably you're lucky enough to live somewhere warm so you only have to wear the minimum of harness and shortie. Any weight is bad weight, especially down toward your feet - so it's pro carbon all the way baby - select the shortest, lightest stick from your quiver. Out on the water you want to be fairly lit, but not board-off-baton-twirling-lit, just full choke fixed line lit. Cruise for a while to warm up to the task, swinging your arms around and doing a few unhooked practise boosts to stretch and prime your by now finely honed musculature.

A few minutes of that and then steel yourself, visualise grasshopper, grasp the bar, hands centred, load your edge, send the kite and boost like there's no tomorrow. Stabilise and as you reach a dizzying height, unleash an explosive rush of focused energy...hoisting your feeble carcass up vertical and twisting sideways, slapping your hand behind your back to grab the other end of the bar firmly. Now wait.

Hold, for what seems an eternity. The world drifts by as you hold the supreme position of improbability. Shutters whirrrr and car horns whine in your ears and all the while you keep a wearisome eye on the water far below. Then just let go - load up that new arm and get ready for the ride of your life. The kite surges into action striking an angry arc across, down and under, looping fully, hauling your puny humanness one armed, fully stretched out, as you come in for a screamer of a landing - bend like a reed in the wind. Best is to squeeze really tight with your fingers during this last bit, and use those rock hard abs to bring your landing gear under in time to stomp it.

Congratulations...you made it.

Courtesy of New Zealand Adventure

^ top